The Day Cosmo & Wanda Got Assigned to Danny & I
by Wild Man Pacheco
Summary: Hey guys! This is just a little fic about my friend Danny and I going through tough times living in Dimmsdale and getting Cosmo and Wanda assigned to us to help us out. There will be sequels to this fic. rated T for mild language.


**The Day Cosmo &amp; Wanda Got Assigned to Danny &amp; I**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairly Odd Parents at all!**

I come charging through the front door of our fourth floor apartment in Dimmsdale, California.

Danny: "Evan is that you bro?"

Me: "No it's a goddamn axe murderer of course it's me!"

Danny: "Sorry I didn't know."

Me: "You and I are the only ones living here!"

Danny: "Ok, ok can we please just drop it."

Silence.

Danny: "So how was work?"

Me: "Everyone and everything in that place is a joke! That place is a pit of seething evil! That place makes me so sick to my stomach I could just puke it all out right now!"

Danny: "…Sounds like you had a great day."

Me: "First Robert wants me to continue that production thing I told you about, then Julia wants me to cover for her while she's on her lunch break and many others keep coming to me asking how to do certain things because they can't pay the frig attention to me when I'm talking to them!"

Danny: "Well hey man just relax you're home now. Just sit back and breathe."

Me: "Alright."

I did as Danny told me to.

Danny: "You want some juice or something? I can get it if you want?"

Me: "No, no, no grab me one of those beers in the fridge."

Danny: "Alright."

Me: "But hey enough about me how was your day?"

Danny: "I hate Doug Dimmadome."

Me: "Wait what's the name of that place again you work at? Chicken something?"

Danny: "Chicken Dippin' Dippadome."

Me: "That's a freakin' mouthful."

Danny: "Tell me about it. Some of the customers in there are bastards."

Me: "What's up with that Dimmadome guy?"

Danny: "He's just annoying. I don't think he likes me at all."

Me: "That's what you said about Vinny when we worked at IHOP before we came in to Dimmsdale."

Danny looked at me weird.

Me: "Yes you said that to me at one point. Don't deny it."

Danny: "Ok, ok I admit it."

Me: "But yeah man if only there were some way to get through this life easier."

Danny: "Yeah I know right!"

The moment we said that an eight ball rolled out from under the couch.

Me: "What the hell?"

Danny: "What?"

Me: "This eight ball just rolled out from underneath the couch."

Danny: "Weird."

Me: "Wait a minute you don't play pool anymore!"

Danny: "No I don't especially that time back in Vegas I will never play pool again!"

Me: "I wonder whose it is."

Danny: "It probably belonged to the people before us."

Me: "Wait a minute, this is a toy eight ball it's one of those magic eight ball things. God I remember I had one of those when I was a kid."

Danny: "Like I said it probably belonged to a kid or someone before us bro."

Me: "Yeah man."

I got up to put it somewhere but tripped over the coffee table and the eight ball went flying and busted open on the ground.

Danny: "Bro are you alright?!"

Me: "Yeah. You know I can't say I'm not surprised that happened."

Just then some type of swirling dust emerged from the broken eight ball and two small figures popped out of the dust.

Two figures: "Hhheeeeyyy Evan and Danny!"

Figure 1: "I'm Cosmo!"

Figure 2: "And I'm Wanda!"

Cosmo and Wanda: "And we're…your fairy godparents!"

The both of us just sat there in silence, staring at the two figures who introduced themselves, blank expressions on our faces.

Me: "Exsqueeze me? Fairy what?"

Cosmo: "Fairy Godparents."

We continued to stare at the two small floating figure before us.

Wanda: "Well? What do you think?"

Me: "What do I think? I think you'd better get the hell out now before I call the cops."

Danny was already making his way towards the phone as a wall poofed before him.

Danny: "What the hell?"

Wanda: "Hold on a minute!"

Cosmo: "If you guys tell anybody about us we'll have to go away forever."

Me: "How'd you do that?!"

Wanda: "Magic!"

Danny and I stared at each other then glanced back at the two floating people.

Danny: "I don't believe it! That was a magic _trick_ wasn't it?"

Cosmo: "No way Jose! That's real magic."

Me: "Ok what is this a robbery of some sort? You guys want money? You can take the stash we have in the closet in bedroom but you can't have my paycheck. I need that for bills and shit."

Wanda: "We're not here to rob you silly!"

Cosmo: "We're here to help you!"

Me: "Really?"

Wanda: "Really."

Cosmo: "Wow this place is a real dump."

Me: "It's not a dump! Just needs a little adjusting."

Cosmo: "Major adjusting!"

Wanda: "Cosmo!"

Me: "Yeah you guys are really helping."

Wanda: "Don't mind Cosmo. He can be an idiot."

I went to get another beer.

Me: "Whatever. Danny grab me the remote please."

Danny looked at me.

Me: "What?"

Danny: "Let's just say the TV remote isn't gonna work."

Me: "Why what do you mean?"

Then it hit me.

Me: "You didn't pay the cable bill like I asked did you?!"

Danny shrugged and made a face.

Me: "Oh my god! Holy freaking shit you are so irresponsible!"

Danny: "Hey man I'm trying here."

Me: "You call sitting around on your ass when you get home when you could've paid the cable bill trying?!"

Wanda broke up the argument.

Wanda: "Well that's alright. We can spend some time talking and getting to know each other."

Me: "Wait a minute. You guys said you could grant wishes right?"

Wanda: "Yes."

Me: "Well could you possibly fix the TV?"

Wanda: "Well, technically yes, but lets talk to each other. It's rude to ignore guests and new people."

I sighed heavily and gave in.

Me: "Ok. We'll talk. So Cosmo and Wanda right?"

Wanda: "Yes. And Danny and Evan?"

Me: "Mmhmm. So how long will you guys be staying with us?"

Wanda: "For as long as you need us."

Me: "Oh boy! Prepare for a painfully long time because we'll most likely need you for the rest of our lives."

Cosmo: "Well we fairies live forever so that can be arranged."

Me: "So you guys are fairies huh?"

Wanda: "Yup. Always have been always will be."

Danny: "Are we your first assignment?"

Wanda: "No we've had plenty of other assignments before."

Me: "Like who?"

Cosmo: "Too many."

Me: "Ok, are there other fairies?"

Wanda: "Oh yes, many!"

Danny: "Where are you guys from?"

Wanda: "Fairy world. That's where all the other fairies reside."

Me: "I assume they all look like you."

Wanda: "Most of them. Except Jorgen."

Me: "Who?"

Cosmo: "Jorgen von Strangle he's the toughest fairy in the universe. He's in charge of who gets fairies and who doesn't."

Me: "So what's this 'go away forever if we tell about you to other people'?"

Wanda: "Other people outside your apartment can't know about us. You two have to keep us a secret or you'll lose us forever."

Me: "Hear that Mr. I-can't-pay-the-cable-bill? You tell anyone about them we lose them forever and our lives go back down the shitter again! That's when I ruin your head!"

Danny: "Dude I will pay the cable bill tomorrow I swear!"

Me: "You'd better."

Wanda: "Well enough about us. We want to know more about you guys."

Me: "I work as a computer programmer."

Cosmo: "What's a computer programmer?"

Me: "A computer programmer enables a computer to do certain tasks."

Cosmo stared at me blankly.

Me: "So say I have a set of instructions. Those instructions are called computer programs and those help the computer operate smoothly."

Cosmo still stared at me blankly.

Me: "Still don't get it?"

Cosmo: "Nope."

Me: "It's hard to understand."

Wanda: "What about you Danny?"

Danny: "Oh I'm a full time cashier at Chicken Dippin' Dippadome."

Wanda: "Doug Dimmadome owns that right?"

Danny: "Yeah. Honestly I don't think he likes me. He's pretty annoying too."

Me: "So anyway how are you going to be with us?"

Wanda: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Like Danny and I have two different jobs how will we know if you're around and can help us if we need it at the time?"

Wanda: "Oh I don't know. We've never been assigned to two god children before? Or godmen for you guys."

Me: "Children?"

Wanda: "Yes normally fairies are assigned one godchild."

Me: "Well how did you get assigned to working class men like us?"

Wanda: "It's a new rule in the rule book?"

Me: "Rule book? Oh boy this is gonna be fun."

Wanda: "We'll go over the rule book another time. There are lots of rules."

Cosmo: "Like wishing for money or someone dead. Those are two of the many rules that you can't wish for."

Me: "So anyway how are we going to figure this out?"

Wanda: "I'm thinking of a way."

Me: "Hey uhhh, maybe like Cosmo goes with me one day and you go with me the other? Same thing with Danny. Like you guys could switch up."

Wanda: "Hey that's a great idea."

Me: "Thanks."

Wanda nodded and smiled.

Me: "So you guys can grant any wish huh?"

Wanda: "Yup just name it."

Me: "Ok I wish I had a plate of cookies."

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands and before I knew it, a plate of cookies appeared in my hands.

Me: "Hey that's pretty cool."

Wanda: "Anything you want Danny?"

Danny: "I wish I had a glass of grape juice."

A glass of grape juice appeared in his hand.

Danny: "Alright thanks."

Me: "You know what, you guys ain't so bad. I could get used to you guys being around here."

Wanda: "See told ya we were here to help. So how long have you guys known each other?"

Me: "Since I was 19 and he was 23. I am now 29 and he's 34."

Wanda: "Wow so ten years?"

Me: "Yup and he's still a pain in the ass."

Danny: "'Oh stop it' no just joking."

Cosmo: "How long have you guys lived together?"

Me: "For several months now. We sorta recently moved to Dimmsdale."

Wanda: "You guys lived together before this or no?"

Me: "No I lived with my parents before this. Back where we come from, Danny and I agreed to live with each other when I moved out of my parent's house. When we were looking for a place to live I had this guy drive because I was half asleep and we somehow ended up here in Dimmsdale."

Danny: "I don't know how we got here either?"

Me: "Uhhh you were the one driving you should know!"

Danny: "Well I don't all I remember was seeing a sign that said 'Now Entering Dimmsdale'."

Cosmo and Wanda chuckled.

Me: "But yeah we've been here for several months now and just surviving."

Danny: "Hey remember Dave Evans?"

Me: "How the hell could I not remember Stinkface?"

Danny laughed like anything which caused Cosmo and Wanda to laugh too. Especially Cosmo.

Cosmo: "Stinkface? Why do you call him that?"

Wanda: "Who's Dave?"

Me: "Oh you guys don't know Dave he was a friend of ours back in the day. He and his sister Delana. Actually Danny lived with Dave and his family for a few months before Dave and his family split up and Danny had to move out. But he had got in with his uncle."

Wanda: "You said he _was_ a friend? What happened?"

Me: "Let's just say he did something that was uncool and we decided not to be friends with him anymore. We haven't talked to him since."

Cosmo: "Why do you call him Stinkface?"

Me: "Because he stunk to the high heavens!"

Cosmo burst out laughing.

Me: "It's true! Danny you were there."

Danny: "Yeah he did."

Me: "I visited that kid and his family every Sunday since Danny started living with Dave and the clothes that I wore there stunk like baby shit!"

By now Cosmo was in tears laughing.

Me: "That's why I mostly wore the same thing so my entire wardrobe didn't smell like that."

Wanda couldn't help but to laugh too.

Me: "Actually I have videos on my phone saved from the times we were together."

Cosmo: "Ooh ooh I wanna see them!"

Me: "Not now maybe tomorrow or something. I have to go to bed now to get up for work in the morning. TGIF tomorrow."

Cosmo: "It's Friday tomorrow yay!"

Me: "That's what I'm saying."

Danny: "Yeah I'm going to bed too. I need to get up tomorrow to pay the cable bill then work."

Wanda: "Goodnight."

Me: "Goodnight Wanda. Goodnight Cosmo."

Danny: "Goodnight you guys."

Cosmo and Wanda: "Goodnight."


End file.
